[PJ – The following is an email sent to Northern Rail… It is a long time since I have had the pleasure of writing weekly complaints to Northern Rail for their ineptness, but alas, here I go again.]

Dear Northern Rail,

Please could you explain why you have again not managed to run a single train on time this week at 07:38 from Mirfield to Leeds?

Today, your ineptness has once again cost me £10 in taxi fares at Leeds as I missed my connection (a work provided bus that departs 20 minutes after your train is due in!).

This is the 5th time this week your delayed trained have resulted in me having to catch a taxi, your “excuses” and “problems” range from being late into Mirfield (I assume this is because your bend over backwards for Express Trains), to having no platform at Leeds, and at a cost of £50 for the week I find this pretty flipping disgusting.

When you add the £50 I have spent on taxi fares to your extortionate train fare, it becomes pretty expensive for me to work, should I be expected to spend more than my mortgage (my mortgage is £311 per month) on travelling the short distance into Leeds from Mirfield with your company, I know the £300 is not all going to you on your fares, but having to spend the additional £50 per week on taxis to make up for your ineptness does really take the biscuit.

I am assuming you will accept zero responsibility for your trains being late, I assume it is my fault for not wanting to travel an hour and 20 minutes earlier than I need to? I assume that YOU not managing to get a train from Huddersfield to Mirfield on time is my fault, I also accept that it is probably my fault that YOUR train conductor is too lazy to walk the length of the train and issue tickets (which is possible up to Dewsbury at least) so that I don’t have to join the massive queues at Leeds to buy one, again, making me late. Can you confirm that this is how you expect your passengers to be treated on a daily basis, with ineptness, laziness, tardiness, and just being plain useless? Can you also confirm, that you agree that it would be cheaper and less stressful for me to get a taxi each day at a cost of about £16 rather than use your train service, or simply not work? All because you cannot run a train on time and with staff that do their job??

I know this is of little concern to you, you don’t guarantee that a single passenger will make it to their destination in one piece let alone on time, but could you please advise how I am expected to rely on your train company?

I expect you handle complaints as well as your trains, so I’m guessing that I won’t get a reply to this email, or maybe it will come late, so please take your time – I’ll probably spend longer waiting for one of your trains in any event.

Yours, a tad annoyed

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To which I got the reply….

Dear Mr James

Thank you for your e-mail, which I received recently.

I was sorry to read about your recent experiences travelling with us. I would like to offer my sincere apologies for the inconvenience caused. [PJ – Yeah Right!]

We have seen an improvement in performance in some areas over the last few months and I am sure you will witness tangible improvements soon. [PJ – Apart from the fact that the line between Mirfield and Leeds has not improved in 10 years when I last caught the train]

To enable me to investigate further and consider a goodwill gesture, please provide me with your ticket details and full postal address. [PJ – useful, when the ticket machine at Leeds takes your ticket…]

In the interim thank you for contacting Northern Rail, we really value you. [PJ – Like fuck you value any customer]

Yours sincerely

Andy Tallon

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